Guest Post

I asked Ashleigh to do a write-up of her marathon experience in New Hampshire. It was her first...

"I feel really tired, probably not a good time to be writing a recap of my first marathon two weeks ago. Ah well, I'm going to run with it. Whoopss, no pun intended. What an amazing day, what an incredible few months that led up to that day. I don't want to be wordy and long-winded but I feel in order to bring the 26.2 morning justice I need to delve into what was invested a bit. I will try to be efficient.


Just over a year ago, Brookie tried to bring me onboard for marathon training. Her marathon sights were set on a day in January 2011 in Phoenix, AZ. No way Jose. I just squeezed(sorry, for the graphic verb) a chubby cheeked Gusgus out of the womb and I couldn't fathom walking him around our block in Kittredge, CO weekly let alone committing to a regimen that entailed moving my feet faster and much farther four times a week. A marathon was a DISTANT goal and I was happy with that. Over the next few months, I listened and watched(actionmama) my spitfire determined sister pull off the most magnificent five month post-partum extravaganza marathon training diligence. It was awe-inspiring, it was strong, it was fabulous, it was the best "water cooler" talk I could ever have been outfitted with and trust me, my circle of friends heard about it and still hear about it. Mostly, it was not surprising coming from her, it was my boodily boodilicious -- very reflective of the essence of her spirit that I had known over the past 33 years. It moved me and Andy so much that as soon as I voiced to him(the weekend prior) that it was important to me to support her in her feat, he promptly booked me and Gus a surprise trip to Phoenix for the Rock N Roll Marathon 2011. And that it was, Rock N Roll Brookie. Abby sealed the deal -- she had made arrangements long before to be there and help Luke with the girls. So, with babies and Johanna in tow, Abby and I watched many runners cross over the finish line. Sisters holding hands were right before Brooke came into view. I'll never forget Abby turning to me and saying, "what is going on?! why am i crying?!" I laughed through my tears. Before giving Brooke congratulatory hugs, Abby and I exchanged a brief and insignificant conversation about doing a marathon, a far-off distant possible thing to do before we are circling the drain. But holy crap, WAY TO GO BROOKE!, living vicariously at that moment was incredibly fulfilling for both of us. As I watched the process of Brookie's finish and the emotion shared with her husband and two babies. It was heavy and light all at the same time - the magnitude of those few minutes were breathtaking, very special to take in. She did it, she defined all of her strength in her person by all that she had dedicated to the training and Luke made it possible with all of his support. And Johanna loved the snacks, and Emmy, well she loved something else, which is remarkable in and of itself. It was fantastic, all captured on film.

So, long-winded has been thrown by the wayside. Fast forward from Jan '11 to April '11. Team Rourke decides to move eastward. From the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to the swamplands of the New Hampshire Seacoast. Upon arrival, my every last nerve ending began to get hot and irritable. Go figure. To our great fortune, in early May, mama and papa Schickedanz had made plans to visit our new fort in Madbury. It was a hard time, and I really don't know what I would have done without their presence. What is applicable to this guest blog post though is that Ya-Ya lit the fire under my down and out arse. We went on a walk to the playground with the duet stroller and Bogus on leash. I was pushing the stroller and she was manning the leash. I expressed to her that I had a lot of "pent up" energy, etc etc. She said "then run Ashleigh". Smart mama. I started running pushing that damned duet non-jogger stroller up Town Hall road. It felt so good! I circled around and came back to her and Bogie. She clearly saw a visceral positive in my being, "keep running, Ashleigh!", she yelled from 10 yds away. And that is what I did. It was gazelle-like wonderful. I felt free. Hmmm.. The next day I decided to go running. I needed it for my mind, for my wifery, for my mothering, for my canine tendery, for my domesticatary, you get the point. I needed to center myself, and running was an outlet that I felt would maybe take me to a better place for all that. I got up the next morning and it was gray and rainy and those three miles were hard but I felt accomplished after they were done. Baby steps(what about bob reference which is my serious mantra). Over the next week, I thought of the committing to a marathon, Brooke had made her offer very open-ended, bless her, she appreciates how I work. A week following that first run, I told her that I would love to run a marathon with her. I didn't flinch, I was authentically ready. And then we talked about getting Abby onboard, then I flinched. Right off the bat Abby wanted to sign up for the 1/2 marathon, then with a little prodding and negotiating, we three sisters were going to do the NH MARATHON '11. Arrrrr! The tigers were on the loose from coast to mountain desert to coast! We were doing it.

The training was a girthy learning process. Time of day, coordinating schedules, equipment to buy, nerdy running wear to dust off, route navigation, digging deep for maintaining dedication. At the end of the day, Andy made it possible. The thinking during all those hours of training was so enriching, something that was so necessary, and allowed for me to center myself in a way that I've never encountered before. A fruitful place I would wonder to was connecting and appreciating all the influences over my lifetime so far. It was moving and empowering to bring it alongside to where I was taking myself and how I was improving my present.

So, race day, Bristol, NH 2011: Brooke, Abby, Ben, and Ashleigh. It was cloudy and we were giddy. I was telling Brooke she had clown shoes and Abby that she had a cute outfit on and asking if she was going to listen to her ipod, and I think I asked Ben where he was going to put the rental car key. There we were at the starting line, all together with th last 4 plus months of hard work to put us at this place. It was time to endure. It was gray and started raining but the temperature was good. I had to manage myself. I needed to keep it straight. We ran the first little bit together, all smiles. I then decided to peel off, yes, I was the asocial one, I kind of felt like a donkey for it but felt that I wanted to keep my run true to me and listen to myself. So, it was worth those couple of minutes of feeling like a donkey because I immediately felt very light and the pure joy of solitude, akin to all the hours of training that I had experienced. I got my stride down. It was great to take in all the scenery, mostly other humans. Like the barefooted guy, and the barechested, wild-white hair maned 70 year old man, it was heartwarming. I loved the camaraderie and the individualism that was so tangible. And all the families driving from mile to mile to cheer on their teammate and others, the woman with the cowbell -- made me think of snl's "we need more cowbell", hahahooooeee! I'm bad at recollecting the exact timing of things but I know this..Brooke came up to my side and it was such a boost. At the turn-around 1/2 way point, no gu-gel-salt shot could have given me the surges of energy that I felt when I was able to cross paths with the smiling faces of Brooke, Ben and Abby. We were doing it- all that we had accomplished was playing out live.

So, onward, it was hard, but I kept my ipod humming, and the songs took me back to the influences in my life and all the love I am so blessed to be surrounded by. A Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty duet made me think of my heroic dad and when we listened to it driving from Michigan to SF, Carolina Pines made me think of my energetic mom that told me I was "the best" at my screen door as I was refueling in front of my house on my 18 mile run during training, to The Boy named Sue that reminded me of my hilarious and ever-thoughtful brother Brian and a cd mix he made after a fun sibling reunion in San Francisco many years ago. The list goes on.. but also, not sure if a song inspired this heartstrong memory but it was a familiar theme that was present throughout training as well. I thought of my grandmother, Kay-Kay, a very significant person in my life and one who helped me in ways that I'm still thanking her for. She was always a huge promoter of physical exercise and I was remembering all the walks we would go on in her neighborhood in Beverly Hills, MI when I was little. And we would walk slow(I loved that), we would take in the scenery, we would collect rocks on the way and have good talks. And on vacation, it was on the beach with sea shells to be gathered up. But she always encouraged getting out and exercising, she was ahead of her time in many ways, and this was just one aspect of that. I'll never forget being in Europe with her a couple years before she passed away and I was on a strict regimen of running 30 minutes a few times a week where ever we were, whether it was the countryside of the Czech Republic or downtown Levochia, Slovakia. And the smiles and pride she would beam with my dedication to it is something that I've carried with me and have been warmly reminded of along this journey of the marathon. It is gold to me. It made me cry tears of thanks and joy during my four and a half months of training and again, during this first marathon I was enduring.

Back to the breakdown. At one point I felt like my left pinkie toe exploded, really, I thought it did. And all the clown shoe remarks to Brookie pre-race bit me in the butt big time with ALL my toes bumping up against my too-small-for-marathon-distance running shoes. I refilled my camelback at like 16 miles or so. My gels were good and entirely critical. I was around mile 22 and I saw Brooke in the distance hunched over, my worry detector was alerted. When I got to her, we talked, I suggested, she replied, we talked some more about her situation. That talk gave me the strength to carry on. And as she was just ahead of me, I told her something that I had told her during her training for her first marathon. And she had fished for it, she inspired it out of me back then. She was needing words to help her stick with the difficult regimen that she had signed up for. I was blank at first. She forced me to think what would be something to help her through, something to strengthen her in the moment. And I told her via text(love it) that she had the will and ability to do it. After I said it way back then I remember thinking holy crap, did that come out of ME?? And it did -- it taught me alot, thank you Brooke.

So, back to marathoning, I yelled to Brooke, "you are willing and able!" She says it helped her with that last couple miles, and I'm glad for that. Selfishly, in that moment it spoke to me too. It was just what I needed to hear and it helped that it was outloud public announcement style. And to see Brooke will herself through her pain was magnificent. With all that warm and fuzzy said, shortly after, I stumbled up to the mile 23 fuel station, and oh boy that's what I needed in that moment. The three elderly women holding post were clearly concerned with my pathetic state. My shakey reach for the cup of water prompted one of them to say, "oh honey, maybe you should have one of those bananas". I deliriously replied, "that's a great idea, thanks". I walked off, crammed the peeled(not sure if it was??) banana down my throat and stopped to chug some more water. As soon as I stopped I felt the beyond uncomfortable urgency to urinate(I know, I'm screwed, I'll be wearing adult diapers in 10 years or less) but I knew if I squatted that I would definitely need to be evacuated by a makeshift human arm gurney that the three elderly women would have to supply. I couldn't do that to them. It was only 5 more seconds of thinking about how my shorts were already saturated with rain water... no time for indecision..I peed myself. I was a marathoner..hear my ROAR!!

The next three miles were good, real good, lots of smiling. I was doing it. I got to the homestretch, saw the sweet smalltown flagged alley finish and I hear, "you did it bud!' ahhh, my sweet andy. What a stud, in the pouring rain snapping shots. This was purest joy. And I did it."

And since she didn't bother to mention it, her time was 4:23:18. WOW!